Day 6: Rawdoggin' the DMV

Today was the day I had been putting off for months now. My driver's license was expiring, literally tomorrow, and I had already blown off two appointments to renew it. 

Today was the day I raw-dogged the DMV with no smartphone.

In the conglomerate world of the Department of Motor Vehicles, there are QR codes slapped up on windows and pasted everywhere. One in particular caught my eye over and over: "The DMV does not renew Driver's License in-person anymore. Driver license renewals must be done online, or scan this QR Code."

This was problematic for a multitude of reasons. First, I had already tried renewing my driver's license online and was met with a "You are not eligible to renew your license online at this time" no matter what I tried. I tried going to a DMV about an hour away to skip the line, only to have an even longer line. So, I started to toy with the idea of not having a driver's license, at all.

No, I need a driver's license. Even though I'm biking and walking more, I still need a car. Right? Right ... right. These are all thoughts going through my head as I was in the long-ass information line at the DMV. Then, it was my turn. This is how the conversation played out:

Me: Hi, I'm here to renew my license. I tried online, but it said I couldn't do it online and had to come in person.

DMV Droid: Okay, what is your phone number?

Me: I don't have a smartphone.

DMV Droid: *unphased* Okay, one moment *proceeds to type* 

... ... Okay, what is your phone number again? (Yes, she repeated this after about a 30 second pause to type some stuff on her computer)

Me: I don't have a pho-

DMV Droid: Oh, that's right you don't have a phone number. Here, take this and go to window G28 to fill out an application.

She handed me a posted note with "G328" written on it in sharpie, which confused me because she just said to go to window G28. But, like a good boy, I waddled over to the G28 window where they had a computer lab. After standing in another 20 minute line (and watching a DMV employee almost get in a fight with a guy who kept staring at him) I was directed to a computer where I could submit an application.

Honestly, this was great. It was so streamlined versus the online application I had previously used at home, and so much more direct than had I scanned the QR code which would have asked me to sign-in, probably have to reset my password, use 2-Factor authentication, tell them my deepest and darkest secrets to gain access, and submit everything on a tiny-ass phone screen. Instead, I had a big computer screen just asking me the basics: My name, address, email, height, weight, that kind of stuff. It didn't even ask me for my phone number! Now we were getting somewhere!

So I clicked submit and went back to the information line because, honestly, I had no idea what to do next. I wasn't sure what t he G328 number on my sticky-note meant, but I assumed it was one of the numbers the robot voice called out to summon you to an according station. Still, I didn't know if this was actually the instance, and I didn't want to wait 2-3 hours for a number that didn't exist. So, I went back in line at the information desk, waited another 15 minutes, before engaging in a 10 second conversation with the same receptionist who said "Yes, that's your number just go and wait over there" while motioning to the wide and large lobby room with 100+ other poor souls.

So wait I did; and that's where things got really interesting. 

[All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, something, something theme song plays]

But change that theme song to "All around me are people using their smartphones, to pass the time, watching TikToks, while I feel superior" because that's exactly how it felt.

Look, I'm trying my best not to flex on people who still have their smartphone. I'm only six days in to this thing; I could easily fail tomorrow. But at this rate, it's really hard not to feel like a Greek Philosopher among plebians when you can straight raw-dog a 2 hour DMV lobby wait without a single smartphone, no music, just legs-crossed looking at a beige wall and people watching. There's definitely an element of superiority complex that arises in these situations, especially when you can, quite literally, hear the blasting brainrot sounds of TikTok and YouTube reels being played all around you.

And that brings me to my next point; there was a child, probably around the age of 3-4 years old, and this was quite a sight to see. I don't even know if I would have noticed if I had my phone; but let me explain. She had an iPad (yes, and iPad kid), and was watching some god-forsaken brain rot content, and every time something she wanted to reach to (which was usually every 4-5 seconds) she would let out a blood-curdling, mindless SCREAM at the top of her lungs. I really want to set the ground stage properly for you, dear readers, to truly grasp what this poor child was developing in to:

It was clear anything on her iPad content, whether it was funny, scary, happy, or just interesting, would illicit her to let out this strange, blood-curdling scream that was a mix between a "HUUUUUUUUM" and a "URGHHHHHH" and an "AAAAAAAAAAAH" all mixed in one. Without trying to sound mean, it sounded like the screams of agony of someone with brain-damage. This went on for over 10 minutes before a DMV employee yelled "Whose child is this?" and some dad walked up all sheepishly and yelled at her at the top of his lungs: "Lana, what are you doing?!? Come here!" and grabbed her and dragged her off.

It made me think of the obvious problem of the younger generations and the onslaught of brainrot. Clearly, to me at least, that child was expressing her emotions. I'm not trying to hate on some random 3 year old on the internet; I'm not that ... uh, whatever word you would use to describe that person. I'm really just trying to set that ground stage for the realization I had, that being smartphones and technology are replacing our emotional regulation. It was clear to me seeing the three-year old tweak out with their iPad; they don't care how others perceive them, because of course they don't - they're a child. But for the adults around me who had their faces buried in meaningless TikToks and reels, they, too, were acting just like that 3-year old, just quieter. But, on the inside, their emotional regulation is completely the same; stunted.

I saw a woman, probably in her 40's, on TikTok a few seats from me. It caught my eye because of all the flashing lights and what-not which I haven't seen in .. well, 6 days now. I couldn't help but notice how flat-out stupid this TikTok was; it was a fat dude sitting in his car shoving corndogs in his mouth and reviewing them. It really puts the What in the What the fuck are we doing, society.

It's not my place to judge, even though this definitely sounds like a hit-piece on everyone today. But it's not. It's observations. It's making me see things for how they were exactly for me almost just one week ago. I was just like these people six days ago, and it's not like I've grown in to some amazing creature with amazing will-power. I'm the same, brain-rotted monkey as everyone else. The only, only difference is I straight up ditched my smartphone. And the reason I did this is because I realized what the smartphone actually is: it is a drug.

As I was sitting there rawdoggin' the DMV I started pondering about music and mp3's. MP3's have been on my mind lately as a way to listen to music without a smartphone. But the whole ordeal made me think: should we be distracting our minds? Or is there a benefit to rawdoggin the universe that we're all missing.

And that brings me to my next point: I'm beginning to develop the stance that smartphones, and perhaps technology as a whole, are a DRUG. People around me are quick to retort "Why don't you just put limits on your phone?" or "Why not just put limits on YouTube on your computer?", and I can't help but hear it the same way as a heroin user with a needle poking out from their arm saying: "Man, you just need to do a little less heroin and you'll be fine" and "Just do enough heroin to be productive for the day". Drugs just don't work that way; especially if you have an addictive mindset.

Maybe it's not the case for everyone (then again, go outside and see everyone with their faces stuff in their phones 24/7 and tell me otherwise) but the smartphone is too dang addictive to be able to used "productively". I sure as fuck would like to use meth and coke, I always thought those would be cool-ass drugs to try. But I won't; because it would ruin my fuckin' life. Sure, it's not fair to compare smartphones to meth and coke, but at least drugs wear off. Did you know the average screen time per person is up to 7 hours a day now? What drug even lasts half that long? That's 7 hours of your day your basically off in narnia, la-la-land, watching stupid reels about Jake Paul skull-fuckin a Komodo Dragon. I don't know, I haven't' scrolled in 6 days and trends change fast. My point is, the smartphone is a drug, you know it, I know it, and the creators of them know it. That's why they pay these fuckin' computer scientist grads 6-figures to develop more addictive ways to trap us deeper and deeper in the algorithm.

Rant over.

Today was actually a great day. I finally got to renew my license and walked out of the DMV feeling refreshed, if that was even possible. I felt more connected to the sky, the earth, the birds chirping in the distance. I left the Department of Motor Vehicles feeling happy and alive; who can say that?

After, we went to Target to do some shopping (one must CONSUME!) and while browsing an ugly shirt a T-Mobile salesman approached me and asked me if I heard about the new T-Mobile plan. I'm usually not honest with these people and just say I'm not interested or some shit, but I decided a new approach today. Instead, I told this man "I actually don't have a phone." and he looked at me with that look you give someone when you know they're lying to just make them go away. "No, I'm serious I actually got rid of my smartphone 6 days ago" I said to follow-up as to not look like a total dick. I patted my pockets to show they were empty. His face dropped: "Really?" He said. I nodded with a smile. "How does that even work? How do you get calls?" He said. "Dude, I use Google Voice for calls, people call me on the computer or whatever. It's great." He smiled: "Wow, so they just call you on your computer and shit?" He walked up to me with his hand out for a knuckle-punch. "That's awesome man, good for you."

It was actually quite a pleasant interaction with someone I otherwise would have just told to get fucked, or consumed more and spent more money; it's usually one of the two. But now, it seems a third option has opened up: actually living life on my terms. Real Ubermensch shit.

I was ecstatic to wake up this morning and see this blog has gained three more followers for a grand total of 8 followers! It may not seem like a lot, but its a ton to me. I'd never think anybody wants to read the shit I write, so to think there is 8 full human-beings out there reading what I write means the world to me, especially in a time where I've disconnected away from my smartphone and social media more than I ever have before. Having you all here to help keep me motivated, and converse and discuss in the comments about the up's and down's of a NoPhone life is a lot of fun. I look forward to it every day, now.

Thanks for tuning in for this Day 6 update. See you tomorrow! Stay classy, San Diego.

And a special thanks to the blog's new followers: Andela, Penrudee, and Loflan. We are now up to 8 followers, and seeing new followers always makes my day. So thank you three for joining the movement, and thank you to everyone for for supporting the blog!