I've Been Phone-Free For 1 Week. Here's How It's Going...

Hello, readers...

As many of you already know, today marks the 7th official day since I've ditched my smartphone and gone phone-free. From navigating the DMV to fighting my university to forgo 2-factor authentication in my Master's program, the journey thus far has been largely pleasant. Surprisingly. And that's coming from someone who was severely addicted to his phone; I'm talking 5-6 hour screen time daily. 

However, as I woke up today on day 7, I was overwhelmed with a weird feeling. It wasn't a feeling of accomplishment or 'success', it was a feeling of extreme boredom. Like, really real boredom that I haven't quite felt yet throughout this no-phone lifestyle.

I can't quite put my finger on how to describe the exact feeling, but what I can say is it isn't a pleasant feeling. It was this keen sense that I'm doing nothing with my life.

But I look back on my life and see accomplishments; I see a bachelors degree from a good university. I see money in my bank account, a good job at a good company. I see someone who strives to learn and grow every day, evident from not only my current position as a Master's student in a Sociology-adjacent degree, but also from how much I've learned this past year. From how to stain a fence, to how to make healthy dog-food for my English Bulldog, every single day of my life seems to have been a new quest to learn, absorb, and implement new information. At the cornerstone of that learning was, almost always, a technological device, and most usually: my smartphone.

I don't know, I'm still figuring out what this 'feeling' is as I write this. This is why I journal, and why I want to connect with you awesome people who give a crap enough to read what I write, leave comments, and even reach out to let me know how inspiring this blog is, or how its motivated you to go no-phone, or even just to encourage me down this path. All of that is incredible. I just started this blog as an alternative 'stimulis' when I got rid of my phone. I always loved writing, and the smartphone has largely replaced the joy of writing with doom-scrolling. This blog has, and continues to be, a wonderful human experience for myself and the people who interact with it. So, on that note...

[Cue Title Card From Wolf of Wall Street Where the DiCaprio Yells: "I Ain't Fuckin Leavin!"]

Let's make one thing perfectly clear, right now: I'm not going back to the smartphone, not yet, and not for the foreseeable future. This blog entry may sound a bit ... defeatist (?), but I think a couple things are going on alongside my phone withdrawal symptoms...

My birthday is right around the corner and that is always a ... weird time, for everyone, right? Pair that with getting rid of an integral part of myself for the past 15+ years, or however the fuck long I've had a smartphone, and ... maybe I'm getting hit with a double whammy of feelings, withdrawals, and WTF vibes.

However, even with the strange feeling I woke up with today, I still got shit done because I was so bored and didn't have a phone to replace my boredome. I went outside in my yard and collected the leaves I had been putting off for almost 2 months now and cleaned up some trash leftover from a project I had a week or so back. That's one of the things I'm noticing most about a no-phone life: when you're bored, you do the shit you really should be doing in the first place.

I want to take a paragraph here to just build on what I just said, because I think it's important. As someone who suffers with discipline and motivation to 'do shit', going no-phone has opened my eyes to how discipline and 'willpower' actually is ... kind of unnecessary. Let me explain.

When it comes to willpower, we have this idea we have to quite literally will ourselves to do things. Will ourselves to clean the house, will ourselves to do the laundry, will ourselves to go the gym. But want to hear something kind of crazy? When I got rid of my smartphone, by day 3 or 4, the things I had to 'will myself' to do became something I desperately wanted to do as a form of stimulus. Because the stimulus of my smartphone was gone, traditionally boring things like doing the laundry and cleaning the dishes became interesting. 

There I was, doing my laundry in the evening, listening to music, with a goofy-ass smile on my face. Truly enjoying doing laundry. Like, wtf? This is supposed to be a chore I thought. But the thing is, when your stimulus levels are so low, things like folding clothes and pouring detergent in a washing machine are actually stimulating. Maybe that's kind of sad, but it's also kind of interesting. It makes me think how many things the smartphone makes us content with because it keeps us stimulated. For example, I can build on this point even more. I'm not proud to admit it, but I've had a pretty house for quite awhile now. I'm not talking hoarder-levels of filth, but dirty nonetheless. Amazon boxes in the corner, maybe a few dishes scattered around, a not-so-clean floor, and last-night's hot sauce packages sitting on the dining table (okay, I'll be honest, living room table). When I got rid of my smartphone, you know what the very first thing I suddenly wanted to do was? That's right: clean my house.

I swepted, vaccummed, brushed, and cleaned my entire house spotless. Not because I all of a sudden had a ton of energy, but because it was suddenly painfully obvious to me how filthy and dirty everything was around me. Before, I was so distracted by my smartphone and doom-scrolling, I had become content with the 'filth' as part of the background of my phone. I was more interested in doom-scrolling then even bothering to look at my house being dirty. If I felt embarrassed or ashamed it was dirty, I just pulled my phone out to scroll. Quickly, I forgot.

It's actually pretty scary, come to think of it, how much the smartphone can distract you from. It makes me wonder, what else is it distracting me from? A life not well-lived? A career change? Do I even want my Master's degree? I think the answer to some of those are obvious, like yes I do want my Master's degree because I find the material fuckin' sick to learn. But maybe this feeling I woke up with today, this overwhelming feeling of boredom and dread leading to a question of "wtf am I doing with my life" is something I have been distracting myself from with the smartphone and scrolling. 

In this past week I've learned a lot of decisions we make are based on fear. Getting rid of the smartphone was something I feared for years, but always wanted to do. When I mention to other people I  got rid of my smartphone, they almost always reply in fear: "How do you do that?" "I could never do that, my job requires my phone" "Oh my gosh, how do you stay connected with friends and family?" and other sorts of questions based on fear. Some of them are valid, sure, but they also have answers. I've been using Google Voice as an alternative to texting and calling, and neither my personal relationships nor my professional career has taken a hit in the slightest. In fact, by forcing my communication on to my computer, I feel more present in the actual world around me. People don't mind waiting a few more hours for a reply, it's not like my reply is urgent and saving lives. My mom can wait until later in the evening about whether or not I want her Tupperware. 

I've begun responding to people who say they can't go no-phone because of their lifestyle with: "Then you need to change your lifestyle". Sure, that might not be possible, I'm not naive. I have a friend who works as a Behavioral Health Specialist at a patient intake psych-ward. His smartphone is an integral part of his job, without it, he quite literally couldn't do his job. Yet, at the same time, I have known this friend for almost a year now, and every time I talk to him he is miserable, tired, and overworked. Does he even want the job he has? If he got rid of his smartphone, sure, he'd lose his job or have to quit ... but is that a bad thing? Maybe it would lead him to a new job, new career, and a new life that he is actually happy with, not tired all the time, and not one of the most miserable twats I've ever met. It's just funny to me, people are so afraid to bail on technology, but not afraid to live a miserable life. I think we should all be much more afraid of the latter, and perhaps that is what today's reflection, Day 7, officially Week 1, is all about. Why do I feel the way I do, and what can I do to change it? After all, isn't that the point of life, if there is a point at all; to live it how the fuck we want to?

Okay, there goes the alarm for the brownies my girlfriend and I put in the oven about 35 minutes ago. So, I'll leave this reflection here, and leave it with a grateful tone for all of you who continue to tune in and spread the word about this blog. We hit an amazing 500+ views yesterday, a record for the blog. 

As is tradition when we receive a new follower, I want to shout-out the blog's newest follower: Erica. That puts us at 9 followers! I am truly enjoying having this platform to reflect on my thoughts and feelings going no-phone, and hearing from you all in return.

Until tomorrow, be well, and if there's anything I could wish upon you to take away from today's entry, it is to not be afraid of what your conciousness already knows. Don't push it down, embrace it, and work with it.

Godspeed!